Klockwork Kugler: This is my blog. This is what I do.

NOTE:  This post was original published in December of 2009.  But so many of you enjoyed it then I thought it’d be worth posting again!

"Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs..."

I know this is the week of James Cameron’s Avatar and I know you’re probably expecting me to shoot off a few more posts about it (and that crappy marketing campaign.) But I really think there is nothing more to say about that film… without actually seeing it. So, in honor of that other J.C. whose birthday most of us will be celebrating, one way or another, sometime next week, I’ve decided to compile a list of my favorite holiday movies. I don’t think there’s an order to these…

Die Hard. Just watched it last night… This classic stars Bruce Willis and Alan Rickman and – unquestionably — kicks ass. If you haven’t seen it… well, I don’t know why you’re reading this blog. And yes: it is a Christmas movie. The terrorist take over the building on Christmas Eve… and only two people can save the day: Jesus Christ himself (but I guess he’s off doing other things) or John McClane, a NYPD detective who just so happens to be visiting his estranged wife that very night, in that exact building. Awesomeness ensues. Contrary to what some people think (mainly a confused coworker of mine who once told me Kiss Kiss Bang Bang was a good movie – if you’re reading this, dude, you owe me the ten bucks I spent on that dvd) the movie has held up rather well over time. Sure it has the look and feel of mid-80s cinema… but is that so wrong? If you think about the film as a period piece, it’s completely acceptable.

Favorite scene: When McClane sends the dead-baddie down in the elevator with the note written on his chest: “Now I have a machine gun. Ho-Ho-Ho.” (see it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KShj0gPAH0g . Why the little shit has the embed option disabled is beyond me… but I’m over it.) Though the scene where he throws the C-4 plastic explosive down the elevator shaft is pretty awesome as well.

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. This classic stars Chevy Chase and has to be the funniest, legitimate Christmas movie, at least that I can think of. The story is simple, the Griswolds celebrate Christmas, but the laughs are many. I actually haven’t seen this movie in years but I feel it probably holds up rather well. If the film has a downside its that it makes you miss Chevy Chase… what the hell happened to his career?!

Favorite Scene: When the SWAT team storms the house… all to the tune of Here Comes Santa Claus by Gene Autry. Haha. Love it.

Gremlins. Another non-traditional but totally Christmas-based classic. Steven Spielberg produced, Chris Columbus written, and Joe Dante directed, this film hits the spot. It’s comedy. It’s horror. It teaches kids how to responsibly own animals. If this film has a downside… it’s that I now hate each of the filmmakers listed above – Spielberg: Kingdom of the Crystal Skull; Columbus: Bicentennial Man; Dante: Gremlins 2 (he frustrates me to the most. I loved Innerspace!)

Favorite Scene: Phoebe Cates (the hot) explains how she found out there was no Santa Claus. The story is completely random, it rambles on, and it ends up having one of the best dark comedy punch lines ever. Brilliant.

Scrooged. This classic (in my mind at least) stars Bill Murray, is directed by Richard Donner (who also directed Lethal Weapon, another Christmas classic close to being on this list), and is a simple retelling of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. Hmm.  Seems as though the ‘80s were full of dark comedy Christmas movies, a genre that seems to have entirely disappeared. Anyway, in Scrooged you have classic Bill Murray, the biggest, most sarcastic ass of them all. What more do you need?

Favorite Scene: The part where Bill Murray… does something… funny…. Ah, hell. I don’t know. Here’s a clip from Elf instead:

So, what have I forgotten?  Let’s hear it…